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Captains' Logs - Open Division


Offensive MVP: Eric Roberts and Tye Javorek 
Defensive MVP: Zach Simons
First NYGFL Touchdown: Zach Simons

Team #unmessable put up a good fight but came up just short.  Down two QBs, Eric Roberts stepped up and led the squad on several great drives, connecting with Tye Javorek for a long catch and run for a touchdown and with Zach Simons for another score.

The #messy D was stout, as Zach Simons picked off a pass and everyone contributed to hold Mickey Spillane's in check.  Great game to Mickey's, and way to brave the cold everyone!

Bottoms Up

Offensive MVP: TEAM
Defensive MVP: TEAM
First NYGFL Touchdown: Nope

The Bottoms squared up against the deep Hardware squad and, well...


Ouch, indeed. This game served as a bit of a wakeup call that we have things to work on, but we're excited to finally be getting healthy as we get closer to playoffs! We did have some positive plays in the game, including a touchdown catch by Jerrell and interceptions by Jerrell and Curt.

We took the party to Jerrell's after the game and drank away our sorrows.


Hats off to Hardware for a great game-- we're looking forward to a playoff rematch! After this week's disappointment, the Bottoms will being coming into Week 8 as thirsty as ever for a win...

Modern Family GIF


Offensive MVP: Team
Defensive MVP: Team
First NYGFL Touchdown: Nope

Captain Jaime Baez had to miss this one, so we’ll let Eddie weave a whimsical tale with his magical gifs. See you boys Week 8 and watch out for us in the playoffs!

[Editor's note: Psssh I don't have time for a whimsical tale. One gif.] 


Offensive MVP: Eric Hillard
Defensive MVP: Whole Defensive Squad
First NYGFL Touchdown: This can't happen anymore, please stop asking...

DBL was a little undermanned this past weekend, but just like the Spice Girls when Geri left, we still put our best platform shoe forward and had an absolute blast playing against a formidable Mr. Biggs.  The game started with a really solid defense and some really good near stops, which was great to see because so much of the team had jumped in to fill roles they don’t normally play.  Some great rushing from Matt D across the board.  Peter continues his domination on the D.  Terrell jumping in and covering the backfield like a pro.  And a pathetically missed interception by yours truly.  Sorry…

Then on offense, we had a lot of great plays with our Posh Spice Matty Ray getting us two crucial first downs; our Ginger Spice JP somehow catching a ball that was about 10 feet away from him; and our own little Baby Spice Erik connecting with Sporty Spice QB David, destroying the Mr. Biggs defense, and scoring both our touchdowns!

In the end however, time was not our side and we lost again by one touchdown.  Shout to Mr. I AM JOE WHITE and his team (even though he forgot I was a captain…) for a super fun and challenging game!  Looking forward to seeing them again in the playoffs.  Also looking forward to more shower pictures just to annoy the entire league (have they learned nothing?  The more it annoys you the more I am guaranteed to keep doing it…).  All our welcomed in our shower pics, but just remember our rule: if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends…



First NYGFL Touchdown: nah, son

Yeeeeeaaaa, so what had happen wuz with me not doing write ups for the past few Bump & Runs????  Yea, my bad but this one will sho' nuff make up for the ones I missed.....

So obligatory shout out to Averil (you know I love you Kitty Gurrt) and his squad because the game was FIRE the whole damn time.....

But i HAVE to go to somelength (and some girth, too lol)  to describe how my squad EnP'ed the whole night.....

MAJOR shout out to Keenan who stepped up to QB at literally the last 
 freakin' second....and boy, did he show out....COME ON TD'S!!!!

Speaking of showing out.......GORMAN!!!! GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Chile' whatever you EnP'd on before the game you need to share because it was uncalled for with the amount of magic you displayed on both sides of the ball. This b&#h had me and the rest of squad like......

A special Welcome Back to Sean who's been tending to an injury.  We missed you sis, and yo' p*ssy betta be on FIRE this upcoming weekend like it was Monday night in dodgeball. Congrats on the win Sis!!!!

Dan, I just love how willing and versatile you are with things (on and hopefully off the field).  This week we were short staffed but you stepped up and showed out  like always and I couldn't be more proud.......

Ms. Andy Fouche.....what you WILL do and DID is get touchdowns girl!!!! So proud of you....

Adam, every week you come out ready to go and push yourself and you're picking up stuff every week and I'm so happy with you.  And besides, I think Averil got a crush on you girl,

Fernando, I sure couldn't tel you were up for 36 hours straight with the hardbody playing you did and the hits you took on Saturday......BEAST!!!!!

There's so much more I could write but a b*&h got work in the morning and I'm tired.  LET'S BRING THIS SAME FIRE INTO THIS LAST WEEK OF THE REGULAR SEASON GUYS!!!! 


Flaming Saddles

Offensive MVP: Skaggs, Ortega, Fyffe
Defensive MVP: Nathanson, Hollywood Jones, Fyfee, Skaggs
First NYGFL Touchdown: 

Giddy-up lasies! 
In the clash of The Flamers vs. Industry on a brisk Saturday night, the Flamers could do no wrong. They grabbed an early lead and never looked back. The stars were in alignment, but not so much for team Industry, who just had ""one of those games"". 
My gurlz on Industry will be just fine in the playoffs.
Shoutouts to my Saddles.... Best game of our season!
Khloe Hoffman with his 1st reception, Fredric ""HOLLYWOOD"" Jones with her 1st evah interception, Mama Tedaldi with a 6 yards, 4 minute sprint into the endzone for a TD, Ricky Zia with a huge 4th down and long catch, killer rushing by Matthew Nathanson, John Balash with some nifty blocker releases and ""Daddy Hunter"" Fyffe with a huge INT to put the game out reach.... and then there was Nate ""Twink"" Skaggs, who was diving and running rampant all night and is surely on the road to an MVP nomination!!!
Good luck in the playoffs Dan, James and the rest of team Industry.
Ms. Maiden was a little light-headed from purging her meals leading up to the bachelor auction; so, she was missed terribly Saturday night.


Gym Bar

Offensive MVP: Legolas
Defensive MVP: Aragorn
First NYGFL Touchdown: Gimli

Shout out to the NYC Parks Department

Lord Of The Rings Hobbits GIF


Offensive MVP: Ian Donovan
Defensive MVP: Michael Banks
First NYGFL Touchdown: Ian Donovan! 

Yaaaass Hardware 💔Heartbreakers💔! This is the breakout game for rookies Ian (Carroll) and Michael Banks! We finally got Ian his first NYGFL touchdown, and Michael had both an amazing interception and locked down the middle. Justin had a couple great interceptions too, Josh shut down his side, and Brad did a great job blocking and leading the Bottoms Up defense to not even bothing sending in a rush. Great win Hardware! Good luck next week Bottoms Up! 



Offensive MVP: Vinny 
Defensive MVP: Whole Defense
First NYGFL Touchdown: None

WhoreNets came play one crazy game against the Eagle. The first half wasn’t cute for the WhoreNets offense after only putting up 7 points to the Eagles 21 points.

Confused Monkey GIF

At half time the WhoreNets made some adjustments to their game. 
That the Eagle wasn’t quite ready for that had them quite shook.

Scared Wendy Williams GIF by ADWEEK

WhoreNets Defense the second half played amazing not allowing any points and 2 huge Redzone stops.  


With 2:30 left on the clock the WhoreNets has to put something together on offense after still being down 21-7.  After our last defensive stop Vinny throws a beautiful ball to Joe Beckwith aka James for a 50 yard catch and run. 


Once again the Defense by the WhoreNets was amazing coming up with one final stop and giving the offense a chance to go down and score to win the game in dramatic fashion.  Vinny once gain throws a beautiful ball to Ethan Borger to make the score 21-19 the WhoreNets make the decision to go for two and win the game. Vinny throws the ball to Ave and he breaks off Kennan and Sean off for the 2 point conversion with 37 seconds left. 


WhoreNets win the game. 



Offensive MVP: Mark Caruso 
Defensive MVP: Thomas Garza
First NYGFL Touchdown: No

We played a super fun game this weekend  in the super cold and as always I’m so super proud of my lovely unicorns. Big shoutouts to Mark Caruso for scoring a touch down (it should of been two, but you know how those things happen) and Thomas Garza for snatching all the flags. 

Thank you Tidaldi for making it a fun game despite the cold and our loss, we still love you!  Good luck the rest of the season! 


Mickey Spillane's

Offensive MVP: Quincey Wilson

Team Swirl played some iron-man ball, led by rookie Lou Cicatelli, who scored his first NYGFL TD and was a force rushing all game, notching a first half safety that would prove crucial in this close, well fought game. Nic Pei proved once again nothing gets in his way when he smells a pick-six, including my jaw. Quincey did a stupendous job blocking (both on the field and at Gym Bar later) and receiving (on the field only... as far as I know). 

Shouts to Eric Roberts who played well filling in at QB, Ali for fighting hard the whole game (peaking with an excellent block that led to a TD), and Joe Leskody for singing most of the game. 

And a special shout to Tedaldi for his ballerina like TD scamper in the first game. It lit a competitive fire within us all. 

Mr. Biggs

Offensive MVP: Joe White - by team decision
Defensive MVP: Joe White - by team decision
First NYGFL Touchdown: None

Biggs came out aggressive after having their first lost the week prior. 
Unfortunately,  so did DBL!

It was a very physical game.  On the opening drive, Biggs made a call to go for it on 4th and 6 and that completion set the tone for the rest of the game.

Defensively,  the team made huge stops, had QB sacks that went uncalled and a huge interception by Captain Joe White on DBL's 2 yard line.  This is after Joe scored a TD and extra point earlier in the night.  The team now calls him ""Papa Joe"" for his efforts. 

DBL was very physical and injured a key player as he scored a TD (Matt Rosenberg) but he will be back next week as a key member of the roster.

Great team effort on offense and defense.  Everyone pulled together and brought home a big win!

Good luck to Mike and DBL on the rest of the season!


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Offensive MVP: ???
Defensive MVP: ???
First NYGFL Touchdown: ???



Offensive MVP: Christian
Defensive MVP: Harold
First NYGFL Touchdown: Nah, bro

While the Stonewall team wasn't happy to only have 9 players available for their game on Saturday night, at least it meant everyone had a chance to stay warm on the (almost) frozen tundra of Dewitt Clinton in their match against Boxers. When it is that cold outside, it is very important to stretch first.

Fail Big Bang Theory GIF

Everyone made contributions on both sides of the ball, but the big heroes on offense on Saturday were Kris and Christian who hooked up on two first half touchdowns. Both teams playing solid defense with multiple stops made by both teams in a low scoring affair. For the second week in a row, Harold had a big interception to end a late drive by Boxers in the first half.

Happy Thats My Boy GIF

In the second half, Boxers was driving and getting close to the endzone with a chance to tie the game when a tipped ball on the one yard line resulted in some still youthful Thirst Trap kween getting an interception. Late in the game, after Stonewall made another great defensive stop, the offense went into super conservative mode with multiple pitch plays moving the ball slowly down the field. Then on a crucial third down and less than 2 minutes left on the clock, QB Kris made the gutsy call to fake a pitch and throw a long pass. While the Boxers defense was all over him (seriously, Clyne was so close to him, you would have thought they were on a date - and Steph wasn't far away either), Thirst Trap rookie Christian came down with the ball and his third touchdown of the game. To finish it off, he then picked off a last gasp pass to seal the 19-6 win for Stonewall. And then after game shenanigans and of course, the new team cheer.

Shoot for the face!  

Jon Stewart Big Bang Theory Tiara GIF