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Captains' Logs - Open Division

#unmessable

Offensive MVP: Tim O
Defensive MVP: Everyone
First NYGFL Touchdown: [empty]

Great game everyone !!! 
 

Bottoms Up

Offensive MVP: Mike Giuggio
Defensive MVP: Curt McLellan
First NYGFL Touchdown: Nope

The Bottoms entered in a tough spot with four players out with injuries, but like Dan Dimant's Friday night, we came to play hard with 8 guys.

We were hot right off the bat with OMVP Mike Giuggio taking a slant all the way to the house to put us up 6-0. Steve Rubin, who's been emerging as a frontrunner for Most Improved Player, was beasting on both sides of the ball, locking down the speedy John Ford and definitely not committing holding penalties like this...

 hug scrubs bro best friends hugging GIF

But true to our season's theme, Steve left the game with what turned out to be a broken finger, leaving the 7 remaining bottoms like...

Get Out Movie horror wtf omg crying GIF

Shout out to my Bottoms for then playing ironman football in MAN defense the whole game with just 7 players. Congrats to Dan Dimant on a key 15-yard catch for a first down, after which he didn't move, shocked with bright eyes, screaming, ""I CAUGHT A PASS!"" Dan also played man defense for the first time and allowed just 2 completions.

Curt ""Baby Tooth"" McLellan ran away with DMVP honors by successfully manning Mike Stallworth all night, constantly batting down passes and neutralizing Biggs', uh, big threat.

In the end, QB Rory Ray and the Mr. Biggs got the W with some long TD drives despite a great second half effort from QB Jovanni Molina. Congrats to Joe White and team on the win and good luck the rest of the way! Right now we might look like this...

South Park  eric cartman bed hurt hospital GIF

...but come December we'll be ready to SLAY!
 

Boxers

Offensive MVP: Daniel Tranter and Mark Bey
Defensive MVP: Andrew Clyne
First NYGFL Touchdown: nah

For such a blowout, the Truvadawgs still piled up catches with plenty of catch-and-runs, especially by Daniel Tranter, who released from blocker and looked pretty doing it. Mark Bey made his debut and made catch after catch on out routes and stops, including one diving catch on the sideline that left many observers parched. Michael Hendricks caught the team's TD, back when it was still a fight. She also hosted a splendid little post-game that may or may not have included some popper cherry-popping. Not off topic, Rocky Granum had a solid week of rushing, keeping Eddie busy at blocker and continuing the trend of league mates asking me "who's the hot rookie?" Guys, his name's Rocky - quit asking. Ryan Liu was yet again a standout at center, bent over and ready for some more catches off that blocker cross play. Andrew Clyne returned from Gay Bowl a little "worn out" but not enough to stop her from holding it down at corner and receiver. And Nick Donias still blazes across the field on offense while filling in for her boos on defense, like the great teammate she is. This team has heart, and still leaves it on the field. Despite the loss, I love hearing how much fun we look like we're having out there. Much love to Kiyon for coming out to cheer us on, despite the knee tweak from twerking. And props to Eddie and Hardware for a well-played game!

DBL

Offensive MVP: Eric Hillard
Defensive MVP: Matt Drezdzon
First NYGFL Touchdown: No one. 

While Captain Mikey was out being Priscilla Queen of the Desert, his gorgeous, talented and humble team pulled off their first win against the formidable Team Industry!  David Tawil made his debut as our star QB and he showed the league what happens when he takes the reigns.  David wanted to give a shout out to the entire team for how well they played.  He said there wasn't a single person that didn't contribute to the first win!  Can't wait to keep this trend going!  Congrats guys!  Special shout out to JP and David for running the team in my absence!  


 

Eagle

Offensive MVP: ???
Defensive MVP: ???
First NYGFL Touchdown: ???


 

Flaming Saddles

Offensive MVP: Nate skaggs
Defensive MVP: Josh Fyffe
First NYGFL Touchdown: womp womp 

Shoutout to Justin Friedman who was amazing as a qb and leading his entire team to a hard fought victory.
Both teams went back and forth with scores, but in the end Frank Rossi's flag throwing narrowly outscored Spillane's & Saddles.
To my Flaming kweens.... we'll get at it again next week once I stop by the liquor store!

Love you to pieces, you gave it your all.

If your qb had 6 interceptions instead of 7, it could've been a different outcome.
 

Gym Bar

Offensive MVP: Tony
Defensive MVP: Jae
First NYGFL Touchdown: Nope

Fun game & super fun turn-up. GYMme GYMme more!

 gimme more GIF
 

Hardware

Offensive MVP: Robert Bastron
Defensive MVP: Jeremy Grompone
First NYGFL Touchdown: Jeremy Grompone 


đź’”Heartbreakersđź’” with the win! Great job all around, and now everyone on the team has gotten at least one game in. Special shoutouts to both Robbie and Jeremy for a pick-six! Who knew Jeremy could catch? Excellent work defense on shutting a good Boxers team down and keeping things rolling. 
 

Hornet

Offensive MVP: Ethan Borger (3 touchdowns)
Defensive MVP: Danny Marandola 
First NYGFL Touchdown: Ave & Danny Marandola (throwing touchdowns)

The game between the WhoreNets and Unmessable was a great battle, both teams gave it their all. 

Ave making his debut at QB. Ave’s first driven wasn’t cute at all.

 football fail eli manning fumble eli face GIF

...his first drive ending in a punt.  Orlando came out guns blazing ending his drive in a touchdown. Team WhoreNet came back out with a beautiful drive to score a touchdown. Ave threw his first NYGFL touchdown to Ethan Borger.  Team Unmessable comes back to try and score but Danny had other plans for team Unmessable.  The WhoreNets came back out but couldn’t capitalize off the turnover Danny got for them. 

The very next drive Unmessable scores. Team WhoreNet decide it’s time change QB’s & Danny Marandola comes out and also throws his first NYGFL touchdown to tie the game 14-14 right before halftime show. 

 beyonce fall super bowl formation routine GIF

The 2nd play of the 2nd half Orlando bust out a huge run to put his team back up 7. That didn’t discourage the WhoreNets.  The WhoreNets  came out scoring to tie the game once again and had team Unmessable shook.

NBA basketball nba wtf wow GIF

In the end it was team Unmessable that came out on top.
 

Industry

Offensive MVP: DJ Davids
Defensive MVP: Norman Piasecki
First NYGFL Touchdown: NO...

First things first, whoever saw our socks this week, aren’t they cute?!?! [Editor's note: No, not as cute as Hardware's.]

Anyway… The Unicorns of Industry played our gay little hearts out this week and I couldn’t be more proud of our team. Even though we lost a hard fought battle, we still came off stronger than the week before and are able to play to win in the coming weeks! BIG shoutouts to DJ Davids who was a total masc dom top  on both sides of the ball, scoring a touchdown and and extra point! And to Miss Norma, who was snatching flags just as good as she snatches wigs. As always, a big thanks to QB James Riedel who kept the ball moving on offense and playing all game on both sides of the ball while feeling under the weather! And of course, to all the Unicorns because you're all so damn fabulous! 

Congrats to DBL on their win, we look forward to facing you in the playoffs! But now on to our next opponent, Hornet! … get ready.

Going into Week 4 like...  


 

Mickey Spillane's

Offensive MVP: Darrin Chin 
Defensive MVP: Nic Pei
First NYGFL Touchdown: wah wah

In a back and forth battle on the thankfully unfrozen tundra of Dewitt Clinton, the Masc4Mascateers were led by the wildly productive night of Nic Pei, who had 3 interceptions (including a pick-6), 2 receiving TDs, and overall Ronnie Lott style aggressive secondary play that sparked an overall wig snatching night for our defense. Rob Body had a long pretty TD catch and 2 XPs, Jeremy Cross also had 2 point-saving picks and had the one catch on offense I didn't see (cuz some fellow Tribe member gave me a nut-knocking). Darrin Chin was a dynamo all night even if he is displeased with his ""run-face"". Morris Thorpe and Jarred Moorehead were solid up front as there were no sacks again this week (ok one technically late but that was only cuz I wasn't fast enough to get back to the line of scrimmage). And Tyler Stafford braved the fearsome blocking twosome of Eric James and Courtney Joseph all game as primary rusher. 

Oh yeah and we won our first game! 

Great game Tedaldi, Nathanson, as well as all the Gentile Flaming Saddleses (Hollywood!!!!). Also Mickey Cotter and Nate Skaggs had a bunch of impressive catches. Best of luck rest of the year guys!
 

Mr. Biggs

Offensive MVP: Caidin + John Ford 
Defensive MVP:  Matt Rosenberg + Rushers Jose  & Joe
First NYGFL Touchdown: Josh P


Started off slow with an int and Guggio running for a touch down on their first offensive possession on the turnover but quickly bounced back with Josh P going beast mode to put Biggs on the board.  John F decided he wasn't going to be out done and added 2 TDs to the fold which triggered Josh D to say ""my turn"" ladies. Caidin stepped up with 2 extra points and Rory rounding out the scoreboard for us. 

Overall great team performance. 

Good luck to Castor going through the season into the playoffs. 

Go BIGGS!!!


 

Rise

Offensive MVP: Bryan Mullen
Defensive MVP: Efe Nesiama
First NYGFL Touchdown: negatory!

Riding on the high of being a National Champion at this years Gay Bowl, Captain Wilson and the Rise crew was ready for action Saturday night versus Stonewall.  Stonewall showed up missing there starting Quarterback (Mr. Billman).  In his absence, Kris Burrell stepped in admirably.  The best defense in the league saw blood in the water and dismantled the undermanned Stonewall team and forced a mercy rule win.

Missing standout players such as Denis, Kyaire and Billy the team didn’t miss a beat.

Shout out to Team Rise and the steady improvement of everyone.  Our defense is a force to be reckoned with and it’s a pleasure to coach such coachable players; Gus, Greg (Most Improved), Efe (Rookie of the Season), and Mike.

Our offense was once again stellar led by the Flawless Bryan Mullen and League MVP Candidate Deej Johnson.  Team Rise will continue rising to the top as the season progresses.  With so many weapons on both sides of the ball the team is clicking on all cylinders.

Good luck to Sean and the Stonewall crew the rest of the way.




 

Stonewall

Offensive MVP: Harold
Defensive MVP: Colin
First NYGFL Touchdown: not this week


On a rather warm Saturday night for October, the Thirst Trap was ready for its big match against Rise. After losing the toss, led by fill-in QB Kris, the Thirst Trap marched straight down the field with Kris hitting Harold for a long touchdown and a quick 6-0 lead - and it was on!

 win prince alex air theme GIF

Sadly, my notes for the rest of the game seem to be missing. I do recall Colin getting an interception and running the ball back like

 alex trebek GIF

I also recall someone named Abuelita constantly yapping on the sidelines and on the field like she did for the entire Gay Bowl. She kept calling out someone named ""Nana"", except there aren't any members of the Thirst Trap with that name. Muscles - sure. Killer - of course! Dorothy Zbornak - definitely. Maria - perhaps. But Nana? Uh, no.

I'm a little concerned about the discussion that occurred after the game among members of the Thirst Trap. Somehow the topic of ""hot Canadians"" came up and without naming names (although with the proper bribe, I'll talk), a vote was cast for the late Alan Thicke and a vote was cast for Alex Trebek IN A HARNESS. Try falling asleep with that mental image. Have these people never heard of Justin Trudeau? (at least no one voted for Justin Bieber)

oh for pete's sake Sean